A Smaller Life. A Happier Life.

Posted on January 11, 2026

Every now and then I come across an idea that doesn’t just make me think - it makes me feel calmer. Recently it was an article by Arthur C. Brooks in The Atlantic called To Get Happier, Make Yourself Smaller and it suggested something surprising. Maybe happiness doesn’t come from climbing higher, collecting achievements, or constantly trying to stand out. Maybe it comes from gently shrinking our sense of “me, me, me” and reconnecting with what actually matters.

That might sound strange at first. We live in a world that tells us to hustle harder, grab attention, collect likes, and keep proving ourselves. No wonder so many people feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and like they’re always falling short.

But think about the moments when you’ve felt truly peaceful. Looking up at a sky full of stars. Standing at the edge of the ocean with the breeze on your face. Holding a newborn and realizing life goes on long after we’re gone. Those moments don’t make us feel bigger. They make us feel beautifully small, and somehow, that brings relief.

When we stop trying to be the center of the universe, life softens. The pressure lifts. Things become less about performance and more about presence. Less “look at me,” more “how can I help?” A kind word. Checking on a neighbor. Doing something thoughtful without announcing it to the world. Those quiet, unfancy acts often bring the most genuine joy.

And it turns out, science backs this up.

Dr. Laurie Santos, the Yale professor behind the hugely popular class, The Science of Well-Being, studies what truly makes people happy. Spoiler alert: it’s not more stuff, more status, or more applause. It’s gratitude. Connection. Purpose. Perspective. The simple things we sometimes overlook.

This time of year always nudges me to think about what I want more of in my life, and maybe even more importantly, what I can gently set down. In my last column I wrote about skipping the big, dramatic New Year’s resolutions and instead creating a simple little “micro-list” of things that actually make life feel better.

I think this idea belongs on mine.

Not trying to be the loudest voice in the room. Not measuring life by applause or attention. Just choosing to live a little softer, notice the good a little more, laugh when I can, and remember that being part of something bigger than myself is a relief, not a demotion. There is something wonderfully freeing about saying, “I do not have to star in every moment. I can just be grateful to be in the scene.”

If you would like to explore this idea even more, you’re in luck. Dr. Laurie Santos is coming to Stuart on Thursday, February 26 at 7 p.m. as part of the Rappaport Speaker Series at Temple Beit HaYam. Her talk, Calm Amidst the Chaos: The Science of Happiness, makes all this research feel practical, funny, hopeful, and refreshingly doable. Tickets are available at RappaportSpeakerSeries.com.

If happiness really does live in those quieter, humbler, beautifully ordinary spaces, then maybe this year we don’t need to chase it so hard. Maybe we just give it a little more room to show up in our lives, right where we are, doing the small things that matter most. One small thing I’ll be doing is attending that Laurie Santos Happiness event. Hope to see you there!

What does happiness look like to you? Let me know at stacy@fireflyforyou.com

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